RAPIDINHAS

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TV Naked assets
Galisteu couldn't resist taking her clothes off
The contract's clause was very clear: no nude scenes. But TV Manchete's director Walter Avancini went ahead anyway and asked model-turned-actress Adriane Galisteu, 23, to bare her breasts in Xica da Silva, the upcoming made-for-TV mini-series, right in the very first scene. Galisteu, who can't say no to a lustful lens, went a step further and ended up taking the traditional totally-in-the-buff bath in the waterfall, a common plot to save novelas (soap operas) with sagging ratings or, in this case, a TV network nobody watches.
Adriane, who became famous for being the girlfriend of popular four-time Formula 1 champion Ayrton Senna at the time of his death in 1994, has managed to convert her fame into a multipath career, writing a best-seller book, posing in the nude for $ 1 million for Brazilian Playboy, endorsing products, and now embarking on an acting career.

Clara, the character she plays -- she is the foster sister of Xica da Silva, the black heroine from the title -- was added to the show for marketing reasons. She gets gang raped at the start of the mini-series which justifies her deranged behavior making her wander through the fields, talk little and walk bare-breasted covered only by white transparent lingerie. "All for the art," was the actress's reaction to the need of also abandoning depilation for the time being.

Carioca (native from Rio) singer Daniela Araújo, 20, was lost in Naxos on the Greek coast when a tall man in bermudas offered to help. She didn't like it though when he became a little too cozy taking her hands between his and praising Brazil when she said she was Brazilian. "I knew your pretty country when I was President of the United States," he commented. Fresh and liar to boot, Daniela thought to herself. The old man was already leaving when it dawned upon her that he was George Bush. In a hurry she then took a picture. "Nobody would believe me otherwise," she said. Back in Brazil, the singer commented, "When he met me the guy seemed a dirty old man and a little crazy, but then I sort of liked him."

The newest member of the Academia Brasileira de Letras (Brazilian Academy of Letters) might also be the next Pope. Cardinal Lucas Moreira Neves, president of the Conferência Nacional dos Bispos do Brasil (Brazil's National Conference of Bishops) was elected with 32 votes (there were five blank votes and two members didn't vote) to occupy seat no. 2 left open by the death of writer Abgar Renault. Immortal Neves has been named by the Washington Post, the London Times, and the Italian Corriere Dela Sera, among other publications, as being a strong candidate for the Holy See. Originally from the small town of São João del Rey (ex-president Tancredo Neves was also born there) in Minas Gerais, the Bahia's cardinal, dismisses the thought of papacy: "This rumor is in bad taste. His Holiness will still live many years in order to continue his work."

Brazil made the latest Forbes' list of the 500 wealthiest people on the planet - ten times. That's double the number of Canadians and three times more than the Argentineans on the roll. Among those Brazilians with at least $1 billion, Antônio Ermírio de Moraes and his family, who have built a fortune on cement, paper and aluminum, continue to shine with an estimated wealth of $5.1 billion. There are only 39 other billionaires in the world worth $5 billion or more, starting with Bill Gates and his 18 billion. Here are the Brazilian Midas and their fortunes in billions of dollars:
1 - Antônio Ermírio de Moraes - 5.1
2 - Júlio Bozano - 2.5
3 - Roberto Marinho - 2.1
4 - Camargo Family - 2
5 - Roberto & Gabriel Andrade - 1.2
6 - Abílio Diniz - 1.2 (first time on the list)
7 - Luiz Alberto Garcia - 1.2 (first time on the list)
8 - Leon Feffer - 1.1
9 - Larragoiti Family - 1.1
10 - Norberto Odebrecht - 1.1

Mistreatment of foreigners in US consulates all over the world is nothing new. The silence of consular workers when faced with complaints is no novelty either. To make a point, after trying in vain to get an audience with Edwin Beffel, the American consul in Rio, Celso Fontenelle, president of Ordem dos Advogados do Brasil (OAB) -- Brazil's national bar association -- sent a letter to American President Bill Clinton. That was enough to brew a domestic storm when the letter was made public. The document cites several cases of people being humiliated by the Yankee uncivil servants.
Among them, sociologist Antônio Carlos Alkmim, who is finishing a doctorate at the University of Michigan, and who was denied a visa and removed by force by two marines when he asked to talk to someone in charge. Painter Bonifácio Gomes da Costa, who had been invited to exhibit his paintings in Miami was called a liar. When the worker said she was going to do him a favor by granting the visa, Costa declined the kindness. Elaine Barreiros, a Rio travel agent, compares the American consulate to the emergency room of Hospital Miguel Couto, Rio's main public hospital: "People get cold sweats. It's the same widespread uneasiness."

"It looks like a phone," said Brazilian lawyer Jamil Abdelrazak Abdala Abdo, 31, traveling in first class, to the question of the flight attendant who wanted to know which was his luggage, in the overhead compartment, when the plane was ready to take off from Chicago's O'Hare airport. To the United Airlines attendant it sounded like, "It looks like a bomb." It was July 25. The TWA plane explosion and the Atlanta bombing were still very fresh in everybody's mind and no protest from Abdo convinced the attendant that it was all a misunderstanding.
In came the pilot, and then the police. To complicate things the lawyerhad been walking and doin light exercises while waiting in the airport. Together with his Arab last name that made him even more of a suspect. The lawyer was taken to the airport's police station and left in a cold cell from 6 PM to midnight. Gravely ill, he had to be taken to an Intensive Care Unit (ICU). Only then, did the police start to realize that they had made a mistake. Notwithstanding, Abdo had to pay $100 in bail plus the $2,500 ICU bill. As for United, he says, "They've lost a first-class client."

Brazilian boy Alexandre Teixeira, 7, from São Paulo, was almost eaten by an alligator last July 13. He was vacationing with his parents not in the Amazon jungle or Mato Grosso's Pantanal but a mere 50 km from Miami. Alexandre fell from his bicycle and slid into the Everglades National Park's swamp. He was attacked by an alligator mississipiensis and only the prompt action of his parents prevented the worst from happening. Hélio and Maria Odete Teixeira jumped in the water. While the father forced the animal's mandibles open, the mother pulled her son from the anilmal's mouth.
There was a moment of panic when the boy and the father submerged with the crocodile. Alexandre was taken to the Miami's Children Hospital, with two broken vertebrae and a hemorrhaging lung. It was no consolation to know that this was the first such accident since 1947. All is well now and little Alexandre even went back to Florida at the invitation of Disney World. And he learned his lesson: stay in Brazil if you don't want to be eaten alive.

Thanks to the unfailing Carioca (from Rio) humor this winter's cold has been baptized with a memorable though a little morbid name. This year's cold attack was named Suzana. Suzana Marcolina da Silva, 28, was the woman found dead on the side of former president Fernando Collor de Mello's treasurer Paulo César Faria's dead body. Police and preliminary investigations have concluded that Suzana murdered PC
and then killed herself. To those who ask why the cold is called Suzana, the Carioca answers: "Because it takes anyone to bed." This year's strong virosis leaves people practically dead for a week or more.

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Music Sour smell of success Tiririca and his CD
Tiririca -- whose root tiriri means to drag in Tupi, one of the languages of the Brazilian Indians -- is a hard-to-get-rid-of weed common in cultivated fields in Brazil. To eradicate the Cyperus rotundus is a mission close to impossible since its roots spread fast forming bulbs that can start new plants. In Brazil, to be tiririca is slang for 'to be furious' too. That Tiririca (Francisco Everardo Oliveira da Silva, 31) is also the name of the biggest musical sensation in the country is more than appropriate. His "Florentina" took over the airwaves and in two months, according to Sony Music, sold more than 200,000 copies.

The Cearense (from Ceará state) toothless clown who refuses to get new teeth so he "won't lose his identity" had been a big hit with the children with catchy irreverent tunes filled with double entendres. Now he was also turned into a cause célèbre and an instant bestseller among adults since Carioca (from Rio) judge Flávia Viveiros de Castro ordered that the disc containing "Veja os Cabelos Dela" (Look at Her Hair) be taken off stores' shelves. Viveiros de Castro accuses the composition of being racist. The judge's action has polarized the country. Many intellectuals, though they hate Tiririca's work have come to his rescue reminding us that some of Brazil's classic tunes have also made fun of blacks.
Lamartine Babo's, Carnaval hit song since 1932, for example, says "O teu cabelo não nega, mulata, porque és mulata na cor, mas como a cor não pega, mulata, mulata quero teu amor." (Your hair doesn't deny it, mulatto girl, because your color is mulatto, but since color doesn't catch, mulatto girl, mulatto girl I want your love). Here are the polemic lyrics, that the author says were inspired by his own black wife, singer Rogéria Márcia.

Veja, veja, veja
Os cabelos dela
Parece Bombril
De ariar panela
Quando ela passa
Me chama a atenção
Mas seus cabelos
Não têm jeito não
A sua catinga
Quase me desmaiou
Olha eu não agüento
O grande seu fedor
Veja, veja, veja
Os cabelos dela
Parece bombril
De ariar panela
Eu já mandei
Ela se lavar
Mas ela teimou
E não quis me escutar
Essa nega fede
Fede de lascar
Bicha fedorenta
Fede mais que um gambá

Look, look, look
At her hair
It seems like a Brillo pad
For scouring pans
When she passes
She catches my eye
But her hair
Is hopeless
Her stench
All but made me faint
Look, I can' t stand
Her big stink
Look, look, look
At her hair
It seems like a Brillo pad
For scouring pans
I've already ordered her
To take a bath
But she was stubborn
And didn't want to listen to me
This Negress stinks
Stinks like hell
Stinky shrew
She stinks more than a skunk

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