RAPIDINHAS
Entertainment
Showing Her Tchan
A conspicuous and
striking derrière has made singer-dancer Carla Perez, 19, the sexual dream of Brazil, a
land in which the female buttocks reign as the ultimate object of male desire. A pictorial
layout of Carla in the Brazilian Playboy provoked an stampede to the newsstands and
convinced the magazine editors to unveil her again in this month's issue. She became
famous dancing for the baiano (from Bahia) pagode group É o Tchan, one of a
handful of bands that became successful by joining lively tunes to risqué lyrics.
In the most famous of these songs, "A Dança do Bumbum" (The Butt Dance), Perez sways her best asset all through the music. The band also has the "little cord dance" and the "statue dance", both inspired by children's rhymes spiced up with suggestive lyrics. "É o Tchan", the first hit for the group that used to be called Gera Samba, sold 800,000 copies.
Carla has made national headlines again recently. She was slated to lead Escola de Samba Salgueiro as the Bateria (drum section) Queen, but Mestre Louro, the chief of the Bateria, was incensed at the idea and forbade her participation, despite the fact that she had been invited by the president of Salgueiro himself. "Only those who know about samba get in my bateria," he fumed. In the end, everything was arranged and Carla will parade with Salgueiro, but will display her stuff on a float. What will she be exposing? Her trademark asset, naturally. To those who expected more, she left it clear: "I will be showing my tchan, but not both tchans, only my tchan from behind." The other tchan will be discreetly covered with a cache-sexe.
Salgueiro's theme this year is "Of Poet, Carnavalesco, and Fool — Everybody Has a Little" and the samba school will be celebrating painters Van Gogh and Salvador Dali with different floats. Pressed to choose one of the artists, Carla decided in favor of Dali, explaining: "This one I know. I am already using the Dali perfume."
A Dança do Bumbum
Sinhô Revolução/Gilmar do Samba
Cheguei, heim! Estou no paraíso!
Que abundância, meu irmão!
Conheci uma menina que veio do Sul
Pra dançar o tchan
E a dança do tchu tchu
Deu em cima, deu em baixo,
Na dança do tchaco
E na garrafinha deu uma raladinha
Agora o Gera Samba mostra pra vocês
a dança do bumbum que pegou de uma vez
Bota a mão no joelho
E dá uma baixadinha
Vai mexendo gostoso,
Balançando a bundinha
Agora mexe, mexe, mexe mainha
Agora mexe, mexe mexe lourinha
Agora mexe, mexe mexe neguinha
Agora mexe, balançando a poupancinha
Mexe, mexe prum lado
Mexe, mexe pro outro
Vai mexendo em baixo
Vai mexendo gostoso
Vai no sapatinho, vai
Remexendo gostosinho, vai
Ah, que beleza, que maravilha
Isso é magnífico, mãe!
The Butt Dance
I came in! I'm in paradise!
What abundance, my brother (play with bunda = butt)!
I met a girl who came from the South
To dance the tchan
And the choo-choo dance
Made it up, made it down,
In the tchaco dance
And on the little bottle, she gave a little rub
Now the Gera Samba will show you
The butt dance that caught on at once
Place a hand on your knee
Just lower a little
Go shaking it good,
Swinging your little butt
Now shake, shake, shake little girl
Now shake, shake, shake little blonde girl
Now shake, shake, shake little black girl
Now shake, swinging your little fanny
Shake, shake to one side
Shake, shake to the other
Keep shaking down there
Keep shaking good
Go to the little shoe, go
Swaying good, go
"Ah, what a beauty, what a marvel
This is grand, mom!"
Incurable
Will this year be better than the last one? The Gallup Institute once again asked this question of people around the world in 46 different countries. Guess who won the optimism trophy? Brazilians — that's who. Sixty-six percent of them believed that 1997 would be rosier, happier, and more prosperous than 1996. Only 14% said thing would be worse and 20% thought things would be the same. Brazil's optimistic outlook was followed by Romania (61 percent), Georgia (60%), England (53%) and United States (51%). Japan, Holland, and Austria were at the bottom of the barrel. That shows that Brazil has one or two things to teach the First World.
Bye-bye, Ape
Tião, 34, was a Carioca celebrity, and his death in December left Rio and Brazil grieving. Rio's mayor César Maia, in one of his last acts before leaving the post to his successor, decreed an eight-day official mourning period, a distinction given only to important figures. The French newspaper, Le Monde, made fun of the gesture, however, on its front page. Maybe because Tião lived in the zoo, maybe because he was a monkey. But Tião was a very special one. He was the main attraction at Rio's Jardim Zoológico.
He was so popular that in 1988, voters gave him 400,000 votes in the city's mayoral election. The monkey had diabetes, and in the end, a team of three veterinarians and three biologists tried in vain to save him. Ironically, Tião was — or at least he was made famous as — a politician-hater. He threw trash at both Governor Marcello Alencar and Mayor Maia when they paid him a visit, forcing Alencar to change his shirt after the attack.
Bordello No More
In a campaign reminiscent of Big Brother in George Orwell's 1984, Embratur (Empresa Brasileira de Turismo) the Brazilian Tourism Agency, is spreading a new message in billboards, ads, plane tickets and even do-not-disturb signs in hotels: "Be Careful. Brazil Is Watching." In oneshort TV film, a tourist is shown being taken from the airport to prison. The idea is to let tourists know that Brazil will not tolerate those looking for sex mainly with under-age girls, a trade that has become rampant in countries like Singapore and Thailand.
Curiously enough, this is the same Embratur that until recently has repeatedly used pictures of scantily clad young girls to promote Brazil overseas. Airline companies, travel agencies, hotels, taxi drivers, and the population in general are being recruited for the current campaign. In one ad for domestic use, the copy says: "Inform on the exploitation of sexual tourism. Your country is not the world's brothel."
King Betrayed
Minister of Sports Édson Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Pelé, believes that he has been betrayed. Normally upbeat in public, he has been losing sleep and has even cried before the TV cameras. "I never imagined I would go through such an experience," said the minister, after his ministry was accused of corruption by Congressman Augusto Carvalho. Pelé's integrity itself was never doubted, but the people accused were personally appointed by the minister ,and he trusted them entirely.
Carvalho accuses the Indesp (Instituto Nacional de Desenvolvimento do Desporto or the National Institute for the Development of Sport), the branch of the Sports Ministry responsible for the budget, of several irregularities. Pelé has asked immediately for an audit and promised to fire everybody involved, if necessary. And he also promised to do his job till the bitter end: "I gave my word to the president that I would stay until the end of his administration. Not even I if were invited to manage the New York Metro Stars for $30 million would I go back on my word."
Instructive Bite
President Fernando Henrique Cardoso has declared 1997 the Year of Education. The Revenue Service, however, seems to have its own agenda. The Brazilian IRS, in its effort to increase income, has drastically curtailed the expenses for education that can be deducted from personal income tax. While allowing a tuition deduction up to $1,700 per person (the limit was $1,500 the previous year), the new rules eliminate a series of deductions that existed in 1995, including the acquisition of school books, uniforms, school transportation, and English and computer courses.
Buying Spree
Grove Hill is a recently-built luxury condominium in Miami that is actively seeking Brazilians to buy the apartments there. The building administrators have hired Brazilian real-estate agents and have prepared brochures and video tapes in Portuguese. And there are many other building projects doing the same. Rich folks from Brazil have been buying Florida real estate since 1990, but the market has increased now with the entry of upper-middle-class Brazilians who also want to join in the fun. Another project known as Ocean Club intends to sell at least 300 of its 832 beachfront apartments to Brazilians. The units cost from $300,000 to $2 million. For the well-to-do Brazilians, that is a bargain even before they are told that interest is around 8% a year and that 80% of the purchase can be financed over 30 years [— an arrangement that is unheard of in Brazil).
Shameful Exit
Carlos Luiz Coutinho Pérez, Brazilian ambassador to Peru, was in the first group of 38 hostages released by the Peruvian Túpac Amaru guerrillas after their takeover of the Japanese ambassador's residence in Lima. One reason for his quick release was the belief that he would serve as a conduit between the government and the rebels. Two days after being freed, however, Pérez was disembarking in Rio after being "called by President Fernando Henrique Cardoso", as the ambassador explained. Palácio do Planalto soon distanced itself from the fiasco, declaring that the president had not asked for Pérez to return.
Peruvian economist Alejandro Toledo, who suggested the names and was also on the list of the first hostages liberated, commented: "It was lamentable, a disappointment." Before leaving for Brussels to spend Christmas with his family, the ambassador declared: "Our main objective now is to sleep." The weekly newsmagazine Isto É wrote: "The bones of Baron do Rio Branco must be turning in his grave." The publication was referring to the Brazilian ambassador who is the patron of Brazil's diplomatic service. Rio Branco, whose name was José Maria da Silva Paranhos Jr. (1845-1912), was Brazil's foreign minister from 1902 until he died 10 years later.
Like Father, Like Son
Gaúcho (from Rio Grande do Sul) farmer Manoel "Maneco" Antônio Sarmanho Vargas, 79, was found dead with a bullet in the heart and a gun at his side on January 15. He apparently committed suicide. On August 24, 1954, his father, then-president of Brazil, did exactly the same thing by killing himself with a shot through the heart. He was Getúlio Dornelles Vargas (b.1883), the man who was Brazil's president from 1930 to 1945 and then again from 1951 to his death.
Maneco Vargas was on his honeymoon at the presidential palace in Rio, then the nation's capital, when his father shot himself. The president was distressed after being accused of ordering the assassination of opposition journalist Carlos Lacerda. Lacerda escaped with a wounded foot, but his bodyguard was killed. According to friends and relatives, Maneco was not sick or depressed and did not have any serious financial problems. He also did not give any hint that he was thinking about ending his life.
A family member suggested that "he was tired of living with hypocrisy." The last surviving son of Getúlio Vargas left a note saying: "I don't intend to enter history, but simply let it move on." In his testament/letter 42 years earlier, his father wrote: "Serenely I take the first step on the way to eternity and I leave life to enter history."
Botched in Brazil
In a ranking of product quality from 19 countries, Brazil came in last place, just behind Mexico. "Made in Brazil," according to recent research by the American advertising agency BJK&E and the Gallup Institute, is a synonym for bad quality. Close to 20,000 consumers in 19 countries were interviewed and 40% said they did not know one product from Brazil. Another 26% considered Brazilian products to be of passable quality, and 7% classified them as bad. A mere 1% said the Brazilian goods were excellent.
The overall approval rate for Brazilian products was 4.4% (the percentage of people who considered them very good or excellent). Japan, Germany, and the United States won the first three places as manufacturers of quality products. Why the poor Brazilian image? "It might be that people don't know they are buying something made in Brazil," said Francisco Borgoff, president of Borgoff , one of the research promoters. Brazil is still seen mainly as an exporter of commodities even though the country exported $47.7 billion in manufactured products in 1996.
High-tech Folklore
Not even the literatura de cordel, inexpensive-looking booklets published by Northeast folk poets and improvisers, has escaped the computer's lure. João José da Silva, 74, Brazil's oldest publisher of cordel has just released 25 of his poems, all printed on computer, in a total run of 2,500 copies. Renowned writer Ariano Suassuna, Pernambuco's culture secretary, was jubilant: "This represents a landmark in the history of cordel literature." These booklets, placed on strings (hence the name cordel) for sale, have been experiencing a slow death since the 1960s.
Silva bought the computer and two printers with a $10,000 prize he won. The poet continues to write by hand and he is now working on his latest book, A Peleja do Poeta Popular com o Computador (The Popular Poet's Struggle With the Computer). The recently published booklets cost $1 each. João José da Silva can be reached by mail at Rua Ana Otília de Farias, 74, Mustardinha, Recife, PE. 50751-230 Brazil.
Excerpt
As Bravuras de Everaldo
na Casa do Fazendeiro
João José da Silva
Os cabras fizeram fogo
quase todos de uma vez,
Everaldo desviou-se
com a maior rapidez
e num tombinho que deu
dos bandidos matou seis.
Em cada dos seus revólveres
ficou somente uma bala,
ele abateu mais dois deles
com a mais perfeita escala (...)
Com duas horas de luta
seis achavam-se estendidos
dois deles inda viviam
com todos órgãos feridos (...)
Everaldo's Derring-dos
at the Farmer's Home
The fellows opened fire
almost all of them at once,
Everaldo escaped
with the greatest haste
and in taking a little tumble
he killed six bandits.
In each of his guns
there was only one bullet,
he downed two more of them
with the most perfect aim (…)
After two hours of fighting
six were lying prone
two were still alive
with all organs wounded (…)
The black is back
"The black market is for bandits and doesn't mean a thing anymore," says the Brazilian Banco Central. But after years of decline, the parallel market for the dollar is showing new strength. In December, the dollar was being sold on the black market for $7.75% more than on the commercial currency market. August 1993 was the last time the difference in favor of "the black" was so large.
Four more years
Fernando Henrique Cardoso is one step closer to his dream of being reelected president of Brazil. In January, a Brazilian congressional committee approved by 19 to 11 votes an amendment that would allow a president to be reelected, something currently forbidden by the federal constitution. This was only the first hurdle, however, in what promises to be a long obstacle course. To become law, the amendment has to be approved twice by the full house of representatives and another three times by the senate. Even though Getúlio Vargas served as president for a total of 18 years, with exceptional powers, Brazil has never had a president who was reelected. The next presidential elections are scheduled for October 1998.
Child Abuse
The Thinker and
the Trash Man
Rio's justice department has issued a warrant for the arrest of French philosopher Gérard Lebrun, 66, who is accused of violent indecent assault against Brazilian minors. The document was sent to France through the Foreign Ministry, since Lebrun lives in Paris. Lebrun is an expert in German philosopher Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) and taught philosophy at USP (University of São Paulo) where he was a colleague of president Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
The renowned philosopher, a self-confessed homosexual, has been accused by Argenil Pereira, 42, a Brazilian garbage man, of ordering pictures showing children having sex with Pereira. In December, Pereira was caught by police with 20 pictures in which he had simulated sex with little girls. At his home, the police found a letter from Lebrun, including what could be interpreted as solicitation for those lewd pictures.
Handwritten in Portuguese, the letter says in part: "I agree 100% with the idea of non exposition: that would be dumb. By the way, notice that this wasn't my request… So, you maintain the suspense of what this merchandise might be! We will think about an end-of-century version for Little Red Riding Hood, this time in a hurry to serve the wolf and letting the beast examine the menu."
"Lebrun loved for me to take him to Copacabana's nightclubs. He was my voyeur," said Pereira. "I would make it with the women and he would masturbate himself. He used to say that human beings have the right to be whatever they want to be." The trash man has also declared that he had been offered $1,000 to produce the photos. The philosopher admitted knowing Argenil and even praised the man's intelligence, but denied any wrongdoing, saying that he was not a pedophile and has no interest in girls. Now he is no longer talking. After the Brazilian warrant was issued, he decided to hire a lawyer.
End of an Era
"I would prefer that they would have just closed it. Now I won't even walk close by," commented Rio's Jornal do Brasil columnist Zózimo Barrozo do Amaral when he heard that the famed restaurant Antonio's had become a Mexican joint decorated with sombreros and cactus with a new moniker: Salza. Opened in 1967 in Leblon, on the south side of Rio, Antonio's became the favorite meeting spot for the so-called festive left and the Carioca intelligentsia all through the 1970s. Composers Tom Jobim, poet Vinicius de Moraes, writers Paulo Mendes Campos, Otto Lara Resende, Rubem Braga, all of them deceased, spent many insomniac nights there discussing the fate of a Brazil taken by the military.
Writer Antônio Callado found there the inspiration for his 1971 novel, Bar Don Juan. Legend has it that on December 13, 1968, the day general Arthur da Costa e Silva dissolved Congress and issued Institutional Act no. 5 (the infamous AI-5) establishing media censorship, Lara Resende issued a bitter invective atop a table at Antonio's. At the end, addressing his words to a possible government informant infiltrated among them he said bravely: "I am not afraid of telling my name. My name is José Aparecido de Oliveira." (Oliveira was a politician linked to the military).
Health
Blue Book
Onde Mora o Perigo (Where
Danger Lives) is the name of a booklet prepared by the Brazilian Health Ministry
addressing the perils of unprotected sex and AIDS. Using a comic book format, the work
does not spare profanities and shows graphic scenes of anal and oral sex. The racy method
of dealing with the subject seems understandable since the booklet's intended target
public was inmates and prostitutes. However, of the 50,000 pamphlets, 1,000 ended up in an
NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) for women and from there were sent to the Golda Meir
high school in Rio.
Nobody at the school bothered to leaf through the salacious comic book until some students and their parents took offense at the explicit nature of the contents. "This is disgusting," said Ana Fernandes, one of the students. "There was probably a honest mistake," said a spokesperson for the ministry. Not everybody returned the booklet and the "pornographic" piece has become a collector's item.
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