Five Years
Without
Ayrton

"The wealthy can no longer live on an island surrounded by a sea of poverty"
Ayrton Senna, 1993

"From the bottom of our hearts, we dedicate this victory to our friend Ayrton Senna. He, too, was heading for his fourth world title."
Claudio Taffarel, goalkeeper for the Brazilian national soccer team after the 1994 World Cup victory

I've never been quite sure if the old adage "time heals all wounds" was simply a worthless cliché or perhaps a partial truth applicable only to life's less significant losses. When this wonderful adventure we call life deals us a cruel, soul searing yet inevitable loss, we never fully heal and we most certainly never forget. The human heart is simply too vulnerable and passionate for that. Indeed it was the passionate heart in all of us that Brazil's beloved Ayrton Senna touched so deeply.

Can it really be that five years have passed since he lost his life at the Tamburello curve at the San Marino Grand Prix in Italy? Flashbacks of Brazil shocked to the core as we watched his funeral, as grandiose as any head of state had ever received. The streets covered with simple yet poignant messages : "Thank you, Senna", "Senna isn't dead because Gods don't die", "Thank you for making our Sundays so happy".

These were the deeply felt emotions of Brazilians of all socio-economic classes; he belonged to us all. Before painfully revisiting that dark day in May let us for a moment simply close our eyes and remember him in happier times; parading around on a victory lap, the Brazilian flag at his side waiving wildly; joyous celebrations for his World Championship titles in 1988, 1990 and 1991; Paulistas absolutely overcome with frenzied emotion in 1991 as he captured his first Brazilian Grand Prix at Interlagos; the great pride we felt every Sunday in our living rooms as we watched him carry the colors of Brazil into battle all over the globe. No, surely it has not been five years?

A Nation Mourns

As with the assassination of the American President John F. Kennedy many of us will always remember where we were and how we heard the horrible news of Ayrton's death. May 1, 1994 was the culmination of an ugly, nightmarish weekend in Formula 1 that left Brazil and sporting fans the world over simply numb. Even when balanced against the long and often tragic history of Formula 1 motor racing, the events of that weekend shocked us deeply as never before.

Losing a World Cup game final can tear at the national soul for years but our soccer heroes know, as do we, that they will have the future with which to erase the pain of the past. Motor racing is a different animal entirely, a cruel temptress that at times leave us with no possibility for a future happy ending. Our fascination and respect for the heroes of motor sport in part is derived from our realization that racing is so inherently dangerous and that each time they get in the car they must stare down their own mortality and indirectly, the viewer's as well.

Here then is the crux of why so many people could not cope with Ayrton's death; he simply did not seem mortal and if he was, than what did that portend for us? From the occasional fan casually flipping the dial on a Sunday, to the hardened F1 fanatic, to his fellow drivers, Ayrton was simply the one person this simply could not happen to. As former 3 time World Champion Niki Lauda said. " If this can happen to Ayrton, the greatest driver of all time, we have to question what is the point of it all".

That is partially why all of Brazil mourned so openly and deeply at his death; it was not possible; this was Senna. Over the final weekend of his life, he witnessed carnage on the racetrack. During the Friday practice session Ayrton's protégé, fellow Paulista Rubens Barrichello crashed heavily; the violence of the crash seemed to portend the worst but miraculously he suffered only minor injuries. Upon regaining consciousness, the first person he saw was Ayrton who had tears in his eyes.

On Saturday, Formula 1 racing got hit with a cruel dose of reality not felt for 12 years; death on the race track. Austrian rookie Roland Ratzenberger had a front wing break; he lost all control and was killed instantly. The two accidents had a deep impact on Ayrton; possibly in a way he never before had confronted in his professional life. Books have been written on the details of that last weekend; suffice to say that he was quite concerned about the safety of the track and at one point even considered not racing according to his girlfriend at the time, Adriane Galisteu.

Regardless of any doubts he might have had about safety, or concerns about the championship situation which saw him trailing his new arch rival Michael Schumacher by twenty points, Ayrton Senna did the only thing his character and personality would allow him to do. On May 1, 1994 he strapped himself into a Formula-1 race car to begin the San Marino Grand Prix at Imola, Italy.

As he had a record 64 times before, he began the race from the coveted pole position. History will record that on lap 7, after a restart due to an accident, Ayrton Senna's Williams-Renault left the high-speed left-hander Tamburello at close to 190 miles per hour and crashed into a concrete wall. The impact was significant but it could have been withstood; in a freak occurrence a suspension arm broke free and pierced his helmet causing a fatal head wound.

Endless investigations, books and scientific analysis have tried to prove what caused the accident. The definitive cause of the accident is to this day unknown. One thing seems certain, it was not driver error. The most widely accepted belief is that a steering column that was altered for Ayrton's driving comfort broke, leaving him with no steering. A second theory is that low-tire pressures and temperatures caused by slow laps behind the pace car contributed to the accident.

In a haunting and perversely hellish scenario, determined to the end, Ayrton's last moments of life were spent fighting to keep a young upstart challenger behind him on the racetrack. This was his way, and his destiny from his first days of karting at Interlagos to his final moments on earth thousands of miles away from his beloved homeland.

Love Affair

The genuine love and deep affection that Brazil felt for Ayrton Senna is hard to put into words. The public perceived correctly that he was more than just a great racing driver and sportsman. In essence, beneath the tough sporting exterior, the handsome and charismatic looks and his vast personal wealth there was a fundamentally decent human being who we wanted to emulate.

There have been other sporting heroes for Brazil; Pelé, Émerson Fittipaldi, and Nelson Piquet of course come to mind. Each in their own way brought pride to Brazil but it seems to this writer that with Ayrton it was different; it was deeper. Part of the equation could be the age of technology and information transfer; the world of Formula 1 racing in 1994 was quite different from that of Emerson's time or even of Piquet's.

We are living in an age where news is instantaneous and constantly in our face; often painfully so as with the terrible TV coverage of Ayrton's final moments after being pulled out of his wrecked car. This might have contributed but it was not the primary factor in our emotional attachment to him. No, Ayrton struck a chord with people the world over because we could relate to him; he inspired us and made us believe that if he could conquer the world than surely there was hope for us as well!

In addition, Ayrton's pride of being Brazilian was displayed passionately and genuinely in a way that was palpable. He spent all of his free time in Brazil, be it in São Paulo running the many businesses he developed or on the beach at Angra dos Reis. Throughout his racing career it was as though he never really left; he was simply the boy who went off to Europe and made good but always came back to Brazil and never, never forgot where he came from.

The Legacy
Lives On

The quote about poverty at the beginning of this piece might well have come from a politician looking to scam votes. It certainly seems a bit incongruous to have come from a young man at the height of success and fame in the glamorous world of Formula 1 racing. Influential friends thought that one day he would make a wonderful head of state for Brazil; again a somewhat strange picture is painted; a picture of complexity.

One of the complexities that might have escaped the public was his fundamental decency and sense of humanity. Those close to him feel he had a basic philosophical struggle with those beliefs, beliefs based on his strong Christian faith versus his ruthless ambition to conquer Formula 1. Regardless, he realized that he was very fortunate in life and he genuinely wanted to use his success to help others have a fighting chance.

During his lifetime he gave millions to charity; always doing so in private and without fanfare. A few months before his death, he spoke with his sister Viviane and laid out his vision for an institute that could help give hope to Brazilian children in need. Sadly, he never got to see the fruits of his vision ,but the Ayrton Senna Foundation exists today and is doing wonderful work.

It is providing health care, education, nutrition and all the essentials within a framework of encouraging sports for character development. Officially licensed shirts, videos, model cars and hats help raise millions of dollars every year for the foundation. The huge sums that are raised annually through this merchandising stand as a testament to his popularity worldwide and the money going to help needy children are his true lasting legacy; this would have been far more important to him than any conquests on the race track.

The world of Formula 1 racing changed dramatically after Ayrton's death. Improved safety of the cars, circuits and medical advancements have all come about as a result of his losing his life. While each of us personally can debate questions of fate and destiny, this writer has often pondered whether Ayrton was taken from us to give us all something of a message or wake up call.

A message to the Formula 1 authorities to improve safety in all areas and never again sacrificing driver safety for economic reasons. Indeed, if anyone other than Ayrton Senna lost his life behind the wheel that day it is likely that none of the safety changes made since 1994 would be in effect today. Every driver on the F1 grid today and those of the future owe a deep debt of gratitude to Ayrton. The message to the rest of us might be more simple yet just as profound; to be grateful for what we have and to live each and everyday fully and to appreciate this life.

It has been five years since Brazil and the world mourned the loss of Ayrton Senna. To many it is still a fresh wound and always will be. Quite simply he had that effect on people. We should not deify him now nor make him in death what he was not in life. There is no need to do that; he was something very special, the likes of which we may never again see in our lifetime.

"Life is something that God gives us. In many instances it is up to us to show God that we understand that we regard health and life as a very great gift. It is our responsibility to look after such a gift"  (Ayrton Senna 1990)

Obrigado, Ayrton!

Author's note: While I have never been particularly superstitious, I must share with you the following personal story. In January 1994 I ordered a new video about Ayrton from a company in England. I was anxious to receive it and quite disappointed when by mid April I still had not received it. It finally arrived on the Thursday before the fateful weekend when he lost his life. For reasons I will never fully understand, upon receiving it I simply no longer had any desire to watch it. It remained unopened long after May 1st, 1994.

Recommended reading:
Ayrton Senna: As Time Goes By by Christopher Hilton 1999
The Death of Ayrton Senna by Richard Williams 1999

Comments to author: ddad@earthlink.net  

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