Brazilians
are partiers at heart. They really have mastered the art of
enjoying themselves. They spend hours talking and laughing at
restaurants. They unite everyone they know to celebrate their
own birthday. They spend massive amounts of money on their child's
first birthday party and so on.
Many Brazilian
children have lavish parties throughout their young lives, always
including adults in the mix. Children's parties start out with
games and move on to the cocktail hour and dinner and all night
long after the birthday girl or boy nods off to sleep, and their
guests have left (soon after the cake has been cut…)
Rich Brazilians
continue this spectacle up to their wedding day, and the festivities
are grand. A friend of mine says the way rich people in São
Paulo celebrate is to get married at the church on Avenida Brasil,
Nossa Senhora do Brasil, and on to Leopoldo for the reception.
White roses everywhere the eye can see, and an open tap on the
Veuve Clicquot (expensive champagne) for 500 people were a few
examples of the extravagances.
I have attended
a few more modest weddings. One that stands out in my mind was
around the time of the World Cup. The wedding was held in a
town in Minas notorious for manufacturing fireworks. Brazil
won that day, and it seemed that the whole town was celebrating
the marriage. What good planning on the part of the bride and
groom!
Another
wedding I attended was more of a production. It was in Rio de
Janeiro, at the Clube Naval. We had to take a short ferry ride
to the place where the ceremony was to be. I looked around and
was surprised by the outfits. People were dressed in sequins
and very tight and revealing clothing. The bride came across
on the ferry and walked down the isle with the groom. They had
clouds of dry ice around them on the way down the aisle, and
the music was "You've Got a Friend." I definitely
walked away from that wedding with a smile on my face.
There is
a street in São Paulo called São Caetano, also
known as Rua das Noivas, or "Bride Street." It is
near the centro, and all you see are stores with wedding
gowns and other things to buy or rent for your wedding. This
is where many middle to low-income brides shop. Parking is free
for brides, but it is a worthwhile sightseeing stop for anyone.
Given the
cost of a wedding, many Brazilians do not have a church ceremony
or a reception. After seven years, a couple who is living together
(and often share children with little or no concern to "legality
or morality") are married in the eyes of the law. Couples
who are interested in being married can easily do so at a cartório.
All couples must register their wedding at a cartório
for their vows to take effect immediately.
Brazilian
church weddings are usually quite short. When I was a child,
my mother took me to a wedding. We arrived a little early (maybe
an hour) and took our seats. After a few minutes, we were surprised
to notice the wedding was starting! We looked carefully at the
bride and did not recognize her. Two or three weddings later,
we did. During these weddings, my mother had to prop my little
brother up while he slept in his little suit, and the crowd
shifted.
Brazilians
do not RSVP. People who get married and have receptions have
the very ornate invitations hand delivered to the guests. Often,
more guests are invited to the church than to the reception.
The receptions are almost always buffet style, or they have
passed hors d'oeuvres called salgadinhos or little salties,
given the fact that the celebrants have no idea of the numbers,
but most of the guests come.
Brazilians
love a party. Along with the traditional wedding cake, several
hundreds of bon-bons are available for consumption. As a parting
gift, the guests (who often bring other guests) receive bem-casados
which are similar to an alfajor, but without the chocolate covering.
Basically, they are two shortbread cookies with a doce de
leite filling.
Bem-casado
means well-wed. Parties continue into the night, with or without
the couple. The bride's maids are called madrinhas and
the groomsmen, padrinhos, and the responsibility is financial
as well as spiritual. Although they do not have to buy new outfits
for the occasion (they are only requested to wear a certain
color, if that), they are expected to give the couple lavish
gifts and are often awarded part of the expense of the party.
If you
have been invited to a wedding, Brazilians are just starting
to understand the concept of registering. Ask if the noivos
have a lista de casamento. When you purchase the gift,
ask about the prazo de troca or time to exchange. Exchanging
is also a new concept here, but it is getting easier!
Here
are some gift ideas I found on the internet.
Gift
Suggestions for Bridal Showers:
abridor
de garrafas - bottle opener
assadeiras - baking dishes
bacias de plásticos - plastic containers
baldes - buckets
balança - scale
batedor de ovos - egg beater
carrinho de feira - open market basket
cesto de pães - bread basket
coador de chá - tea strainer
cobre bolo - cake cover
cobre frios - cheese cover
colher de pau - wooden spoon
cortador de ovos - egg cutter
cortador de frios - cheese cutter
descanso de travessa - hot pad
descascador de legumes - vegetable peeler
escorredor de arroz - rice strainer
escorredor de louça - dish drainer
escorredor de macarrão - spaghetti strainer
espanador - duster
espátula para frios - cheese cutter
espremedor de alho - garlic press
espremedor de frutas - orange juicer
facas diversas - knives
formas para forno - baking trays
frigideira - frying pan
funil - funnel
garrafa térmica - thermos
jogo de pirex - glass serving dishes
lixeira - trash can
luvas para fogão - hot pads
martelo de carne - meat hammer
pá de lixo - dust pan
peneiras - sifters
potes diversos - pots
porta-sabão - soap holder
porta-talheres - silverware holder
porta-temperos - spice rack
ralador de queijos - cheese grater
rodo - squeegee
rolo de massa - rolling pin
saca-rolhas - cork screw
tábua de carne - cutting board for meat
tábua de frios - cutting board for cold cuts
talheres diversos - silverware
tesoura de cozinha - kitchen scissors
vassoura - broom
Gift
Suggestions for Groom Showers:
abridor
de garrafas - bottle opener
balde de gelo - ice bucket
coador - strainer
diversos tipos de copos para bebidas - many types of glasses
for drinks
coqueteleira - cocktail maker
dosador de bebidas - measuring utensil for drinks
espremedor de limão - lemon squeezer
faca de serra - serrated knife
garfinhos para aperitivo - small forks for appetizers
pimenteira - pepper shaker
pinça de gelo - ice tongs
porta-copos - coasters
saleiro - salt shaker
tábua de queijos - cheese board
When it
comes to buying actual wedding gifts, the sky is the limit.
Many Brazilian parents give their children an apartment as a
wedding gift. As to what you should get them, your guess is
as good as mine.
Monica
O'Day Trentini was born in the US but raised in Brazil. She
attended American Schools and eventually went to The University
of Virginia, where she graduated with a Master's in Teaching.
She married a Brazilian and moved to São Paulo. She left
teaching to raise her children and started a business making
and selling home-made cookie dough and baked cookies to people.
She delivers cookies in São Paulo, but orders have come
from as far as Arizona! She currently has her articles published
at www.gringoes.com and
in The Flash, a printed newsletter for The International
Newcomers' Club in São Paulo. Monica's e-mail is cookiedoughtogo@yahoo.com,
and she welcomes your responses to her articles, as well as
your cookie orders.
